Dancing Snail experienced stress so she says, “Its Okay Not To Get Along With Everyone”. I prefer to use the conventional “Its”, as I’m old schooled.

Btw, there is a grammatical error in the use of “It’s” in the published booke title. Excuse me, whle we return to the classroom for a revision of grammar. “It’s” is to be used for possessive pronoun, to mean belonging to it. Like a non-human, whose possessive state is denoted, the apostrophe is used. We’re talking about “It is” here, and the conventional, correct, grammatical abbreviated phrase to use is “Its”

It is, that is, its not okay to use the possessive form, when the act being referenced, is a behavior, which is not a possessive non-human.

Dancing Snail has a list of valid points to explain why she thinks its ok not to get along with everyone. Here’s the summarized list:

1. It is (Its) important to tell people to respect your personal space.
2. Inform people to observe your personal boundaries and not violate them with trespassing.
3. Your personal space includes all communication to you. Communication is inclusive of spoken speech and written words.
4. People should not give unsolicited advice as this violates personal boundaries.
5. To avoid frequent infractions of personal boundaries, the first and foremost prevention is the avoidance of social interactions. Be a social minimalist. Reduce your interactions to a bare minimum.
6. Avoid speaking directly by tackling the issue in question, as this violates personal boundaries. Use a filter to avoid hurting people.
7. Keep a physical distance away from people. This also functions as a mental, emotional and psychological distance, to protect yourself.
8. We must speak up whenever we feel we have already accommodated for the opposite party once. We mustn’t be always accommodtaing for others at our own expense.

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Regarding point (5) above, why do some people stay silent in uncomfortable situations?

Here are possible explanations in this context:

1. They are uncomfortable to reveal their stress.
2. They don’t know how to adapt.
3. They don’t know if talking will make them appear too smart
4. They keep quiet to blend in as a wall flower on the wall paper.
5. They are concerned on whether their opinions will be accepted or rejected.
6. They don’t want to be judged on their opinions.
7. They keep silent to project confidence, calm and melt into the crowd.
8. They are unfamiliar with the social norm of the unfamiliar setting.
9. They are new to the social norm of a different culture.
10. They want to learn from examples before showing a behavior that reflects their contemporaries’ behavior.

What can you do to handle stress in new contexts?

1. Keep calm.
2. Learn how to cope by following examples of social norms.
3. Acknowledge your stress level decreasing when you respond to situation.

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Related information that’s interesting:

Dancing Snail illustrated Baek Sehee’s book covers. Her real name is Haneul Shin. She also wrote “I’m Not Lazy, I’m On Energy Saving Mode” – book review is here.

The cover illustrations are drawn by Dancing Snail:

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I have drawn Haneul Shin and the image will be shown in a Before painting and After painting photos.